Saturday, June 11, 2011

Grocery Stores are NOT for Wimps

I used to not be bothered by grocery stores....until I had kids.  Here are my top ten reasons how I know grocery stores where not created by a momma.

10.  There is nothing like a grocery store temperature gradient to make you feel pre-menopausal.  You practically need a bathing suit next to the deli, while it's snowing next to the milk.

9.  The "kid friendly" buggies, you know, the ones with a race car attached - who designed these things?  They have 0 maneuverability, take up practically the entire aisle, and have a tiny basket that only fits about 3 jars of baby food.

8.  All the friendly people who want to touch, talk to, or play with your child - thus turning on my warning bells AND making the trip longer.  However, Miss Chatterbox can hold her own, and once told a bothersome man he was "stinky".

7.  All the pretty packaging that attracts my child's go go gadget arms - like the KY warming jelly that prompted my kid to throw three in the basket.  The look the cashier gave me when I handed them to her and pointed to my belly and said "no vacancy" was priceless...

6.  The husband effect - There is something about the grocery store that makes them all disappear down another aisle, leaving you with the kids and the precariously balanced basket only to return at checkout with a pile of junk food in their hands.

5.  The not so bright cashier......"Is this your first pregnancy?" (while staring at Miss Chatterbox sitting in the cart)

4.  The stinking "club cards" -  Why can't a sale, just be a sale?  It's like the "in group" in high school all over agin.

3.  The cart cowboys -  Yes, I would like you to take my cart out, but I won't let you.   Let's be honest - it's mainly because I don't want you to see how messy my car is.

2.  Candy at checkout -  because that won't prompt any tantrums.

1. Store layout- Who put the milk, eggs, bread and cheese in the farthest corner of the store?  What about the marshmellows - Have you ever noticed that it's like freaking Where's Waldo to find them?

Do you have a love/hate relationship with the grocery store?

1 comment:

  1. Now that my oldest is old enough to watch some of the kids, it is much easier to go to the store. I could identify with a lot of this post from years of going with six children. It was stressful and not fun!

    I loved your point about the husband taking off. Usually he would take off with the ones that could actually help and leave me with the three or four younger ones while he went to the magazine rack. Oh, I used to get so mad at him! LOL! Glad those days are mostly over now.