Monday, October 24, 2011

How To Keep Your Kids From Acting Like Your Husband.

There are many things I love about The Firefighter.  He is loyal, honest, brave, trustworthy, and dedicated to his family.  Traits I would be proud to have my daughters inherit.  I used to imagine sweet father daughter moments with them bonding over things like fishing, or soccer, or even car repair.  Miss Chatterbox shows a predilection towards being a tomboy - so it's possible.

Yeah.  Then I woke up.

They bond over farts.  Yep, you heard me.  Nothing seems to make them laugh harder then lettin' one rip.  I have since learned that the worse it smells, the harder they laugh.  They will seek each other out, just to have someone to share the humor with.  Bleck - Not what I could have ever imagined they would bond over.  However, I can't deny that it is amusing to hear Miss Chatterbox's little voice squeal, "BAHAHAHAHA!  Dadu toot tooted!"

(The Firefighter reluctantly agreed to say "toot toot" rather than fart.  I just hate the word fart.  It just sounds so ugly. Weird, I know.)

Miss Chatterbox has also begun doing other undesirable things, like picking her nose, wandering around naked or half dressed, refusing to eat and screaming over us - ANY time we try to talk to each other.  So, I recently launched a campaign to end all these behaviors.  My solution?  To put Boo in "time out" every time I catch him doing one of these things.  I based my plan on the whole monkey see, monkey do principle.  I figure if Miss Chatterbox sees The Firefighter getting into trouble for doing these things, she would stop.   You should have seen the look on his face the first time I said, "Go to your room, Dadu."  Suppose I should have, you know, warned him.  I may or may not have enjoyed this a little too much...  Nah, on second thought, it was priceless and it has also conveniently reestablished my Alpha status in the family pack.

Disclaimer:  Though somewhat effective in this case,  in general, I wouldn't advocate watching Animal Planet for parenting advice - even if you feel like you live in a zoo.  CPS also frowns on shock collars as well as letting your kids play train with beer boxes - even if you didn't drink the beer.

And that, my friends, is how you train your husband...I mean correct your child.

Happy Monday, Y'all.

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