Friday, October 14, 2011

Put Your Listening Ears On Already!

My Nanny is awesomeness, personified.  Miss Chatterbox loves her, she's always on time, never cancels, even finds baby farts as funny as I do and he keeps my house cleaner than me.  She's also uber creative and crafty and Miss Chatterbox LOVES crafts.  The Nanny can all out Macgyver a perfect keepsake out of pocket lint and glitter glue.  Pretty awesome, right?  And it's a good thing, since my crafting budget is nonexistent.

I could go on about how it's wonderful because that's what I pay her for, but I won't because, dammit, I'm jealous.  Not because she's crafty, and I've been known to screw up a paint-by-numbers, but because my kid LISTENS to her.  Miss Chatterbox will shut up, for more than 30 seconds, to listen to, follow, and execute step by step instructions.  I have a paper mache jack o' lantern, that Martha Stewart would be proud of, on my dining room table right now as proof!

I, however, cannot get Miss Chatterbox to shut her trap long enough to hear anything I have to say - let alone follow complicated directions!  It's like talking to the TV.  I've contemplated using that pink plaid duct tape I was given as a gag gift....but visions of that scary movie, whose name I can't remember, runs through my mind (as well as the possible jail time) and I just can't do it!  You know, that movie where that dude kidnaps that chick and draws red lips on the duct tape over her mouth... whatever, y'all know which one I'm talking about.

So, when her non stop chattering gets to be too much, I do what every sane parent does - I stick my fingers in my ears and holler, "I can't hear you! Lalalalalalalala!"  Yeah, I'm mature like that.

I don't get it.  I make kids listen to me all day, everyday, and I can't get my own to do the same.  Oh well, at the end of the day, I'm still Mommy, and I would bet my life savings, that my voice will be the one she hears in her head when she has to make tough decisions and the crafts will be a distant memory.   In the meantime, I'm investing in ear plugs and hiding some vodka in my sippy cup.

Cheers, Y'all!

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