Monday, November 28, 2011

Holiday Hysteria

Last week was a doozie.    A combination of sleep deprivation, baby brain, and bad eyesight led to this colossal blunder.

Guess which one I brought to work.  I'll give you a hint.  It wasn't the Dr. Pepper.  To say "whoops" would be an understatement.  I slammed my lunchbox shut and hustled it out to the car quicker than you can say, "Una cerveza por favor."  I would have preferred to have popped the top and said, "Cheers, Homies" but that whole responsibility thing got in the way.  Maturity blows.  

I also originally planned to have all 7 days off last week .   That didn't work out either.  I worked 6 of the 7 days.  You can see, I'm batting 1000 here.

I managed to cook Thanksgiving dinner for both the fire station and my family.  I was hoping for some appreciation from The Firefighter - after all that was a TON of work and not easy with a 2 small children underfoot.  What I got was, "I'm thankful you didn't set the kitchen on fire this year." 

To which I responded, "Thanks, Shithead.  The dishes are waiting for you at the house. Your welcome."  

Boom!  Amber - 1  The Firefighter - 0   (You know I love you, Boo!)

Miss Chatterbox is at that age were they start to "get it" about the holidays.  Except, she couldn't give a rat's patootie about Thanksgiving.  As she clearly stated when she said, "I no like food, mommy.  I want mac and cheese."  Yep, that's right.  She turned up her nose at the holiday spread, screamed like a banshee and even took a bite out of her playdoh in protest.  She's a little terrorist in training.  I bet she could've made Bin Laden holler "uncle."  

We did get the tree up and decorated - sorta.  We let Miss Chatterbox decorate the tree, so all the ornaments were hanging on the bottom third of the tree and subject to constant rearrangement.  I would put up a picture but sometime last night, she slipped out of bed, took all the ornaments off and hid them.  5 hours after I discovered this, they are still MIA.  Personally, I think she's holding them hostage.  I'm expecting a ransom note, any time now, reading, "Give me the cookies, and your precious little ornaments will be returned.  Ignore this message and I will pull off the arms of all the Frostys, and beards off the Santas.  You have one hour."  

It's Monday again, Y'all.  Have a good one!


  1. I can't even say nothing because I'm laughing so hard.

  2. I was slumming around on the Instructables site last night and came across this picture and it made me think of you. Turns out there's a recipe for Dr. Pepbeer! LOL

  3. HAHAHAHA! That's so AWESOME! Hmm. I have a friend with a beer making kit, maybe I'll encourage him to try it.....