Thursday, April 19, 2012

Thingamajigs and Guinea Pigs

Some days, I feel like I have a pretty good handle on this mommy, firewife and teacher thing.

The world is my biotch - Hear me RAWR!

Other days, I'm not so sure I could find my hiney with both hands.
Wait, I left my kid where?

Lately, I've had a few more of the frazzled variety than the supermom kind.

Good for y'all, bad for me.

So, as I mentioned earlier this week, I found out that The Bun has an egg allergy that also extends to chicken.  Combine that with a few other things that have been going on and The Firefighter having been MIA for practically the last two weeks, I've been left feeling rather overwhelmed.  The kinda overwhelmed that makes you wanna rip off all your clothes and run around naked outside while clucking like a chicken, hoping that someone calls the police just so you can get a little peace and quiet in the nut house.   Not that I know from experience or anything....

But that overwhelmed feeling has recently infiltrated my dreams, giving me some rather vivid "nightmares" that I will now share for your amusement.

Before bed the other night, I could hear one of Miss Chatterbox's singing thingamajigs going off....but after 15 minutes of searching, I couldn't find the durn thing, so I decided to ignore it and to take my pregnant behind to bed.

I fell into a very fitful sleep that included giant purple and green guinea pigs with bright orange troll hair kidnapping my kids and shoving eggs and strawberries into their mouths.  I literally woke up swatting at the little beasts determined to get mah Boo's rifle and blow their brains out.  In that moment of waking confusion, when dreams seem real, I heard Miss Chatterbox's thingamajig going off.  Thinking it was one of the fudge pecking guinea pigs, I flew out of bed grabbed a metal rod (piece of The Bun's recently dismantled pack and play) and started hunting for the little shit.  The sound was mostly coming from the fridge area, so I threw open the fridge door and without a pause....

Began to beat the living bejeesus out of - this.

And in the process flung food everywhere and nearly broke the second shelf of the refrigerator.

Fo' real, Yo!  No punk assed guinea pig can mess wit' my kids.

The Bun's scared cry brought me to my senses and O.M.F.G. did I feel like a colossal IDIOT!  No, idiot, isn't a strong enough word.  I felt like I fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down.  Seriously.   Like I could give any moron on the People of Walmart site a run for their mullets and holey butt crack filling spandex.


I got to thinking about why I've been having vivid nightmares, nearly every night lately.  I think the fears I have surrounding this delivery are manifesting themselves in my dreams.    Dwelling on it in the daytime isn't the answer.  It just makes me short tempered and anxious.  I don't exactly trust the medical establishment, given their reaction to my last two deliveries, even though I've spoken to and conferred with both my OB and the most experienced anesthesiologist on the staff, I don't feel any better about it.  But I have to go through with it, so no use in actively thinking about it.  But, apparently, my psyche has different ideas.

Oh well, just gotta keep putting one foot in front of the other, right?

Happy Thursday and may you win all your battles against imaginary singing purple guinea pig mobsters.


  1. Hopefully you've briefed the next OB to the point that -if the next child starts gnawing her way out of your uterus and pops its head out a la "Alien," there best NOT be the slightest hint of surprise in his/her face.-

    ...that's all I'm sayin'.

    1. Oh, I have. Believe me, I have. Problem being since it's not a "common" reaction that doctors are familiar with, I must either be faking it or it doesn't exist and I'm just being psycho. My last OB wrote as much in the surgery notes. Not helping me make my case to my current OB or the new anesthesiologist ( I am going to an entirely different hospital this time - so I don't even have to look at the last anesthiesologist- I might literally go all tyson on his ass for giving me the EXACT same drugs). In fact, thehead anestesiologist (a 30 year veteran) at St. Francis , seems so unconcerned, that I'm concerned. I'm not sure why all ane have to be so damn arrogant.

  2. Goodness, that sounds awful. Wish I had any advice for you, but I got nothing. Although, I've been known to change doctors/dentists in a heartbeat if I feel like I didn't like the one I was seeing. Maybe if you had a doctor that you felt like was listening and you felt confident was going to take care of you, you wouldn't be as distraught.

    1. Me too! I've changed pediatricians about as often as I change our oil in our cars! It's not my new high risk OB. She's listening. IT's the anesthesiologist....but I don't get to choice that. IT's just whoevers on call when I'm in labor.... It's also mostly just my "irrational" fears coming out. I've had so many bad reactions to different medications that I freak out and shake like a leaf at the mere thought of having to take something that I don't already have a track record with. Needless to say, I'm not a pill popper. I have to be practically dying before I will take anything. I think what freaks me out the worst at the moment is that I have to go under general anesthesia this time. The last time I had to me "out" for an outpatient procedure, I was only mildly sedated, but it took them over 24 hours in the ICU to "wake" me up. So, I can't help but wonder how long it might take if I'm completely unconscious.

  3. Hang in there. Make sure your docs are listening. After I had such a horrendous experience with #2, my OB would not let anyone else deliver me. And actually was amazing when a condescending nurse told me my water didn't break, I was over reacting to the Mag sulfate. Well, O had to be ripped from my womb moments later at 29 weeks, so...yeah. Make sure your FF is there as your advocate when you can't. Let me know if you need to chat.

  4. I don't think your fears are all that irrational. Irrational would be freaking out when you've had perfectly normal labor & delivery.

    I can't remember if you've had, or how you reacted to an epidural? I had a planned c-section with my #2 and just had am epidural so I wasn't sedated at all.

    Are a redhead, by any chance? Redheads react differently to meds than most people. Some meds knock me on my ass, like Nyquil. I have to be about dead before I'll take a Nyquil, then I won't be cognizant for three days after just one dose.
    Where as other meds, it takes more to work. I had a dentist give me a shot of novocaine for a root canal one time and it didn't work. He ended up shooting me 7 times all together. He yelled at me when I still cried :(
    When I went to have my wisdom teeth removed, they sedated me but I still fought with them so I ended up having to go to outpatient surgery so they could put me under even further.

    I always fear that I'll have to have surgery one day, and wake up during it and not be able to tell them I felt what was going on.
    That's irrational. I've had my gallbladder removed and it didn't happen.