In honor of breast cancer awareness month, I decided to write this post about boobies or bresticles, or tatas, or whatever you call them. I call mine thelma and louise. To each their own.
And my preschooler is fascinated by titties. Probably because everywhere she looks there's a shirt, poster, or picture promoting some form of knocker awareness.
Don't get me wrong. Breast cancer is a worthy cause. Its slogans are just bringing about some, shall we say, interesting conversations in my house.
As all you mommas know, there is no such thing as privacy when you're a parent.
Miss Chatterbox followed me into the bathroom as I was getting ready to shower one evening. As I took off my bra she exclaimed, "MOMMA, why you take off your boobies?"
I tried to explain that I took off my bra, not my hooters. To which she replied, "Yes you did. They was up there and are down there now."
Good thing she's cute.
But wouldn't it be awesome if the ol' fun bags were detachable? I could just take 'em off and leave them with The Firefighter. He'd be a happy camper and I'd be off the hook for sexy time. Total win win.
Think about it. You could have different sizes for different occasions. And if they were defective, no need for chemo and radiation, you could just replace them. It would be totally awesome.
Miss Chatterbox has decided she would like to have some bosoms of her own.
The other day, she found a bikini that had been handed down to us from a friend, and excited proclaimed that she had "found her boobs".
Wanting to share this wonderfully awkward and hilarious parental moment, I punted it to The Firefighter with, "go tell your daddy that". Moments later, when he walked through the door, Miss Chatterbox rushed forward and loudly asked, "Daddy! Can I put on my boobies yet?"
I love that kid. The look on his face was PRICELESS.
When he recovered, he gave the standard daddy response of "you're not allowed to have melons until your 30. And if you do, I don't want to know about it."
This post is dedicated to all those I've known who have fought the fight and those still fighting against breast cancer. Save the Tatas!
PS - I used every synonym for breast I knew. Are you impressed? I am.