Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Apples and Phones

Yesterday, a neighbor child, whom I will call Apple, came over to play with Ms. Chatterbox and brought her iPhone AND iPad in her name brand purse.  She's 5.   5!  

Seriously.  I shit you not. 

Can you imagine if all toddlers and preschoolers had phones?  Parenting as we know it wouldn't exist!  It would be anarchy and chaos.   
Let's imagine a conversation between two preschoolers on their iPhones.  I think it would go something like this:

ImaginaryPreschoolChild1: Aljdlkasohgnoaisdtiuasdnl   xyz. 


*Ring Ring*

IPC1: Yo

IPC2: Sup? So, since I can't, you know, read, even though that momma lady is always going on about that alphabet thing and these letters climbing up some tree.  I mean who does she think she's fooling.  Letters don't walk. And who cares anyway? We can talk, can't we?  Reading. Pssshaww. Ain't nobody got time for dat!  Anyways, Boo.  Can you tell me what your text said.

IPC1:  Yo, Shorty, I was just asking you if you was cleaning up.  You see, I was just minding my own biz, with my sippy, watching Thomas-

IPC2: Love that Thomas, yo!

IPC1: I know, right.  I feel ya.  So there I was, watching Thomas and drinking my juice, and momma  comes in says it time to clean up.  AND get this.  She starts singing this song, yo.  It goes, "clean up, clean up, everybody, everywhere."  Sos, I got to thinking.  Is everybody, everywhere really cleaning up? 

IPC2:  It's a scam, yo.  You got to know how to work it to your advantage though.  You see, you don't clean up every time.  Then when you do, momma goes all nuts clapping and give you candy or treats.  Work the system, yo.  Work the system!

We would lose all control, y'all!  It would be total toddler dictatorship!

Anywho, what are your thoughts on little kids with phones?  Necessary or unnecessary? 



  1. LOL, love the toddler conversation.

    I think giving little kids phones is kinda crazy. What the heck do they need with a phone? They should either be with a parent or in the care of another responsible adult that could call whomever the child needs to talk to.

    My kids didn't get phones until they got up around middle school and started participating in extracurricular activities so they could call me to pick them up after practice and such.

  2. Someone has too much money and time and not enough sense. Meaning the kids' parents. That is all.

  3. Phones are for communicating. I'm completely missing the point where I could communicate with someone that won't remember where they left their headband, let alone their designer purse and devices.

    I'm going to give them the benefit of the doubt with it's an old iPhone and they get a great deal. HOWEVER, have they ever talked to you and gotten your numbers? Seeing as you would be the appropriate person to call and ask to send their kid home for dinner? lol

    1. That's just it. These parents let this 5 year old just roam the neighborhood. I've NEVER met the parents. Apple just comes over and leaves randomly. Can you believe that?! I'm in new territory here with the whole friends coming over thing. Should I go introduce myself? I don't even know what to think about it?

  4. REALLY I'm jealous of a kindergartner?? I want an iPad!! My oldest did not get a phone till he was 12 and even then I wasn't completely sure about it......though we had no land line =0/

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