Tuesday, December 3, 2013

Pinterest, You Suck.

You know, our parents had it so easy at Christmas time when we were little!  All they had to do was slap up a tree, decorated some cookies, and voila, Christmas.

Now, in the age of Pinterest parenting, there's felt toddler trees, elaborate gingerbread mansions,  snowflake chains,  magazine worthy decorations, Elf on the Shelf and if you're not doing all these things you're doing it wrong.  

Well, Bah Humbug, ya Martha Stewart wannabes.   Do you have any idea how hard it is to decorate when everything must be at least 4 feet off the floor or it will be destroyed and you have not a crafty bone in your body?  No, you wouldn't ya stinking crafty people.  

And the only toddler friendly solutions I found on all the internets was to block the tree and keep the kids out of it.  

Really?  That misses the point, entirely.  Christmas is an experience, not a picture.  So, no, I will not be gating off my tree, despite my vivid memories of the great tree collapse of 2012, because every kid should know what it's like to get caught sneaking candy canes off the upper branches because they brought it crashing to the ground, damn it. 

Instead, I will be present you with a series of posts called - The Half-Assed Guide to Christmas.  I will include the exploits of Mr. Jolly Toots (our Elf on the Shelf), as well as our Charlie Brown tree and redneck gingerbread tepee's and a couple of other Pinterest fails.   I guarantee it will make you laugh and feel better about your own Christmas skillz. 

Mr. Jolly Toots's grand re-entry. 

Happy Tuesday, y'all. 


  1. I am totally Pinterest Mom Wannabe... but I frequently FAIL. I am looking forward to your posts :)

  2. I avoid Pinterest like the plague! Lol! I also but the gingerbread kits that you just have to ice together and decorate. :-D